So you want me to tell you about the best curriculum to use for your 1st, 7th, pre-K or 82nd grader?  Uh-uh! Oh no, sister!  You’re going to have to figure all that out on your own!  Set me up for that kind of …. mutter, scoff, mumble… vicious attack and ridicule…mutter, mumble…pencils and protractors hurled at my math preferences…..mumble, snort….too much money, phew….not enough creative control….blah, blah….creation vs.uncle and aunt ape…..Lord, no! I’d rather discuss how to build walls and burn bridges with Trump or how to avoid pesky government spam with Hillary!

There are brave and possibly bored insomniac label-loving, categorizing bloggers who will break things down for you as best as they can into religious, secular, teaching styles, desired time schedules, classical, eclectic, year-round, self propelling, hands-on, hands-off, requires both hands and a whip, etc. Which is great and very helpful.  So, get reading.  There are a bajillion descriptions and reviews of curriculum on the web. Do your own homework! I spent months of late nights, early mornings, and caffeine highs reading and comparing, and I’ll not cheat you out of such fun.

And I’ll not have you being lazy and taking my word for it, then end up being less than satisfied, and thus return to burn me at the stake for wasting your time and money because you read about something awesome when you finally decided to crack a homeschool forum. See, I’ve read all that already and I chose what I chose because I liked it best for my kids. Jokes on you, my friend.

Maybe we should just go back to the dawn of our rebellion against the institution and instead of calling it “Homeschooling” we should just rename it “Do Your Thang,” that way we declare our freedom and still sound kind of chill. Because, lets be honest, we’re not exactly a united bunch marching to the same goal.

Aaaah! Put your finger down, and don’t interrupt. Yes, I know we’re all working towards happy, well adjusted, successful, smart graduates.  But I guarantee my idea of smart and well adjusted is different than many homeschool moms out there.  Let’s not argue the details.  That’s the point.  You march East and I’ll march West.  And I can’t tell you how to march East if I don’t like the sun in my eyes in the morning when I’m drinking my coffee.

First and foremost, you’ve got to figure which direction you’re going to march. You might find a few heading that direction too. But beware creating a band, cause as soon as you bond over a good writing curriculum, they’ll break formation and veer South.  You don’t have to feel abandoned.  Remember, “Do Your Thang.”  March in a zigzag if it’s your “Thang.”

It also seems that everyone in the world is looking to either fight or be a victim of something these days. And this has spilled over into the homeschooling world as well. When you start reading those reviews I’ve assigned for your homework, just you wait!  Every other review will contradict the one before.

Saxon math will bore your children to tears.

Saxon math is the best because is spirals and concepts are not forgotten.

Saxon math is not fair to visual learners because the print is so dull.

Saxon math is to blame for childs stammer and lack of confidence in his marriage.

You get the idea.

You have an opinion and a thousand people are lined up to tell you why you’re wrong. Newsflash, opinions can’t be wrong.  Don’t get your paperclips in a knot!  Just point your direction and “Do Your Thang.”

I’ve told some close homeschool friends what we use for curriculum when they were desperate for help getting started. But, I always throw a disclaimer in the book bag:

This curriculum is what works for us today. I reserve the right to disagree with myself tomorrow and deny anything I claim to be true today as pertains to the usage of the aforementioned curriculum with or without a warning or a book burning.

Oh, and Saxon math rocks!

More Tea, Sir? A Valentine’s Tea Party for Dudes

Of course girls love tea parties!  But have you ever been to the boys’ table? Some of the many benefits of inviting the man cubs to the lace covered table go largely unnoticed, and are as follows…

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Things All Kids Should Learn To Do for the Love of Wi-Fi

“And so, for the exhausted moms who no longer find their children’s ability to dress themselves awe inspiring, I have compiled an accessory list of milestones for the adolescent who depends on overworked parents for food and a good internet connection.”

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But What if My Kid is Just…Normal? A Satire

Because really it is quite an accomplishment these days to be one of the not too smart, but not too slow, not too talented, yet modestly skilled, healthy, yet not extraordinarily athletic, average, mostly compliant, not to outspoken, but not too withdrawn, miraculously middle of the road, normal kids. But how boring to be just…normal.

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I want to Homeschool, But I Don’t Want to Teach

I want to be the kind of homeschool mom who can wedge herself in between Webster’s Dictionary and a selection of Usborne Encyclopedia’s …and I’d just hop down from my shelf to run out and buy pre-sharpened Ticonderogas, arrange field trips, keep the WiFi running, and set out tea for the college recruiters. Anything’s possible….

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We Burned Down the Kitchen for Science Fair This Year

Disclaimer: If you work for, or are planning to contact child protective services, I totally made all of this up. Especially the part about getting it on video.

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Why It’s Okay to Homeschool One Year at a Time

“I don’t remember standing before God and having my family and friends witness me taking a vow to homeschool until graduation or death!… Instead, I made a silent promise that day. A promise that I would never quit seeking the best road for raising and educating my kids. No matter how uncomfortable, against the grain, or what looks or comments came my way, I would continuously seek the best educational opportunities I could provide my boys.

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The Day I Wanted to Quit Homeschooling

” …And then I do the lowest thing we homeschool moms know to do when backed into a corner feeling all hope is lost…I tell them I am taking them back to public school in the fall.”

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He Said. She Said. A Homeschool Marriage.

This is your marriage on homeschooling. It is an ever changing rollercoaster of ups, downs, sacrifices, strains and reasons to light each other on fire. Tell it to the judge!
He said: Let the record show that I was just resting my eyes during her reading of Shakespeare.
She said: Your Honor, I swear I did not wear these pajamas all day!

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The First Day of School is a Phantom Holiday

Do homeschooled kids feel the same spirit of the season? This time of year….the $1 bins are brimming with glue sticks and useless shaped erasers, I can’t help but feel the excitement in the air. Like Christmas. Seriously. It’s nostalgic and filled with possibilities! Or a phantom holiday…. like we had busted open a piñata and all that came out were pencil shavings and spelling words.

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Homeschool Moms: the Fat Girls At Prom

Those who could homeschool but have no desire, are now insecure with you in the room. They don’t want to sound rude or judgmental so, by some kind of weird defense mechanism, they insult themselves as if you are there to recruit cult members or extra wives to haul away in your homemade cart and buggy out back?!

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