So you want me to tell you about the best curriculum to use for your 1st, 7th, pre-K or 82nd grader?  Uh-uh! Oh no, sister!  You’re going to have to figure all that out on your own!  Set me up for that kind of …. mutter, scoff, mumble… vicious attack and ridicule…mutter, mumble…pencils and protractors hurled at my math preferences…..mumble, snort….too much money, phew….not enough creative control….blah, blah….creation vs.uncle and aunt ape…..Lord, no! I’d rather discuss how to build walls and burn bridges with Trump or how to avoid pesky government spam with Hillary!

There are brave and possibly bored insomniac label-loving, categorizing bloggers who will break things down for you as best as they can into religious, secular, teaching styles, desired time schedules, classical, eclectic, year-round, self propelling, hands-on, hands-off, requires both hands and a whip, etc. Which is great and very helpful.  So, get reading.  There are a bajillion descriptions and reviews of curriculum on the web. Do your own homework! I spent months of late nights, early mornings, and caffeine highs reading and comparing, and I’ll not cheat you out of such fun.

And I’ll not have you being lazy and taking my word for it, then end up being less than satisfied, and thus return to burn me at the stake for wasting your time and money because you read about something awesome when you finally decided to crack a homeschool forum. See, I’ve read all that already and I chose what I chose because I liked it best for my kids. Jokes on you, my friend.

Maybe we should just go back to the dawn of our rebellion against the institution and instead of calling it “Homeschooling” we should just rename it “Do Your Thang,” that way we declare our freedom and still sound kind of chill. Because, lets be honest, we’re not exactly a united bunch marching to the same goal.

Aaaah! Put your finger down, and don’t interrupt. Yes, I know we’re all working towards happy, well adjusted, successful, smart graduates.  But I guarantee my idea of smart and well adjusted is different than many homeschool moms out there.  Let’s not argue the details.  That’s the point.  You march East and I’ll march West.  And I can’t tell you how to march East if I don’t like the sun in my eyes in the morning when I’m drinking my coffee.

First and foremost, you’ve got to figure which direction you’re going to march. You might find a few heading that direction too. But beware creating a band, cause as soon as you bond over a good writing curriculum, they’ll break formation and veer South.  You don’t have to feel abandoned.  Remember, “Do Your Thang.”  March in a zigzag if it’s your “Thang.”

It also seems that everyone in the world is looking to either fight or be a victim of something these days. And this has spilled over into the homeschooling world as well. When you start reading those reviews I’ve assigned for your homework, just you wait!  Every other review will contradict the one before.

Saxon math will bore your children to tears.

Saxon math is the best because is spirals and concepts are not forgotten.

Saxon math is not fair to visual learners because the print is so dull.

Saxon math is to blame for childs stammer and lack of confidence in his marriage.

You get the idea.

You have an opinion and a thousand people are lined up to tell you why you’re wrong. Newsflash, opinions can’t be wrong.  Don’t get your paperclips in a knot!  Just point your direction and “Do Your Thang.”

I’ve told some close homeschool friends what we use for curriculum when they were desperate for help getting started. But, I always throw a disclaimer in the book bag:

This curriculum is what works for us today. I reserve the right to disagree with myself tomorrow and deny anything I claim to be true today as pertains to the usage of the aforementioned curriculum with or without a warning or a book burning.

Oh, and Saxon math rocks!

The Sun Does Not Shine Out of My Arse; A Very Real Homeschool Day

We owe it to the homeschool newbies to keep it real… Some days all mine want to do is binge watch SpongeBob and gorge on peanut butter stuffed pretzels. And I’d like to hideout in my room and binge watch the back of my eyelids, but this stuff won’t learn itself!

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It is almost too shocking to write down… Of all the ways he could have reacted, actions he could have taken, his response would be deemed excessive by many, to say the least. Are you ready for it? Brace yourself. When this man heard the life altering news of his sentencing into fatherhood he…

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“And so, for the exhausted moms who no longer find their children’s ability to dress themselves awe inspiring, I have compiled an accessory list of milestones for the adolescent who depends on overworked parents for food and a good internet connection.”

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Against my Will, How I Became a Homeschool Mom

But still, they’ll be weird and homely looking, right? And I’ll have to wear a denim jumper and sell strange oils!

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Turns out, I have also accumulated a few trinkets of homeschool wisdom along the way…#13 Just go to the movies. CPS is not camped out behind the neighbors begonias. If public schools can take all day field trips to six flags and call it educational, you can go see the new Diary of a Wimpy Kid and call it journalism.

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The Top 10 Most Hifalutin Posts of 2016!

Whether this is a recap for you, or you are just discovering Hifalutin Homeschool, lets look back on what my readers found the most informative, hilarious, outrageous, or possibly irritating and worthy of sharing on social media. Hifalutin Homeschooler sprang up in 2016 on a fountain of sarcasm and comical introspection of my life as a homeschool mom. If you have kept up from the start, thank you for your nosy curiosity. If I have not offended you on some level yet, I promise to try harder this year. And if you are just joining us, welcome. Join us in 2017 and allow me to show you how not to take yourself too seriously.

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But know that, like anything warm and wonderful, it won’t last. However, the art is in the making of the memory. The smiles and fun shared are etched into the heart and take on a sweet forlorn hue.

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Socialize Like A Homeschooler The Funniest Homeschool Book Release!

Socialize Like a Homeschooler A Humorous Homeschool Handbook It's here! The funniest homeschool book ever is now available! There are tons of great homeschool books out there that deal with homeschooling methods, curriculum, schedules, inspiration etc. And thank...

Homeschool: The Not so Expected First Year Expectations

…In fact don’t expect anything. Then you don’t have to feel like a failure if/when the following happens: …

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Yes, My Kids Have Asked to go to School

And it was like being stabbed in the heart with the pretty blue math compass I bought him for 5th grade math! “… I just wanted to see what middle school is like and meet some new friends.” …I’m not protecting him. I’m providing him with an alternate route with which to emerge having lost none of himself.

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