Part of Homeschooling is… 50 Random Things About the Homeschool Life

Part of Homeschooling is Because We Can

Part of homeschooling is when we dropped everything and went to the movies. We weren’t finished with lessons, but it was Friday at noon. Prices were cheaper, and the theater would be mostly empty.

We wanted to go. So, we did.

Homeschooling probably looks like it’s an all over the place mess of whims and fancies from our neighbor’s perspective, and from the view of anyone who knows nothing about life as a homeschool family and the freedom it allows.

I imagine the neighbors watching us as they whip in and out past the gate each day, to and from work and school, and wherever it is that muggles go.

When they fly by me walking my dog again to avoid grading my teens’ Algebra II work, I imagine that they are rushing home because they need to poop and haven’t had the time, privacy or permission to do so all day.

In my mind the neighbors say things like…

Dang, I need to poop!… Oh look, there’s that homeschool mom ambling around doing nothing again. Those homeschool kids are always sleeping in on Mondays, doing science outside on Saturdays, and going to the movies on Fridays during school hours. It all looks so random! I bet those kids aren’t learning much.

Except it’s not random at all, I’m totally type A. If they could only see each of my kid’s weekly planners, they’d know that “Go to movies at 12:30 pm” was clearly written a week in advance, just after “History Ch 10 section quiz” and before “finish reading In the Heart of the Sea“.

 

Part of Homeschooling is Defense

Our neighbors, and most other people, probably don’t give us a second thought really.

I just like to have an ongoing defensive dialogue about homeschooling running in the background of my tired mind. You know, just in case they stop and ask if I know they have an exceptional school here in town.

Yes, this awkward conversation has happened a time or four since we moved here:

Them: Welcome to the area. Are your kids liking their new school? What? You homeschool? You do know we’re ranked amazing, Mach 12, Category 4 (I may be paraphrasing here) in the state, right?

Me: No, really. Well I wasn’t sure, so I just decided to keep them home and ruin them myself.

That’s so not what I actually say, but I think it real hard at them.

Mostly I just nod and chew on the inside of my cheek and tell them bye, cause my dog needs to poop. (What’s with the poop references? Oh, that’s right. I’m raising, homeschooling, and surviving three boys. It’s part of the job.)

 

Part of Homeschooling is Organized Chaos

I’d like to give the curious some perspective and a sense of order to the apparent chaos of our homeschool life.

And because I like making lists like this one, this one, and this one, I made a list of 50 things I could tell them about the homeschool life they probably don’t know. I could slip it into all the neighbor’s mailboxes, so they could read it when they get home to poop.

But, now that I read my list to myself, I think it would just confuse the situation more. (See also homeschool Insomnia)

And in truth, I don’t really care what they think. It’s like trying to show someone who hates coffee all the ways it can be served (and change your life). Just a pointless waste of cream and sugar.

But I know my fellow homeschoolers will appreciate my nonsensical thoughts and find the thread of order in the chaos contained in this list.

 

Part of Homeschooling is…

1. Hard. The other parts are easy, fun, and even harder.
2. Running to the grocery store for 1 teaspoon of iodine and a grape.
3. Being home when dad can be home.
4. Daydreaming about hiring a personal chef, then laying out a pack of hamburger meat to make…well, something.
5. Removing clothes from the hamper that were only worn to the store and back.
6. Repeatedly asking people to cap the dry erase markers if they aren’t actively writing.
7. Explaining a math problem through the bathroom door just after you asked if anyone needed help.
8. Audio books while folding laundry, eating lunch, and writing a grocery list.
9. Field trips between 8:30 and 4pm. When traffic is light and the questions from strangers are heavy.
10. Spending all your free time arguing about how long the schoolwork is going to take.
11. Buying construction paper for that one random project then finding a full pack in a drawer under unused/unopened curriculum.
12. Planning crafts no none wants to make.
13. Alarm clocks for online classes and animal feeding times.
14. Eating. Whenever. Whatever. Wherever. What’s for dinner?
15. Being less socialized than your kids.
16. Skipping the section in the book that your dog/cat is lying across while you read.
17. Coffee in the morning. Coffee in the evening. Coffee in the…well all the time.
18. Silently praying that most of the answers are correct when grading your son’s math.
19. Always needing printer ink.
20. Worrying about what you aren’t teaching while thinking what you are teaching might be pointless.
21. Keeping a wide selection of cereal options.
22. Having a variety of friends who are shy, loud, weird, brilliant, funny, serious, older, younger, driven, laid back, etc. all chosen for these characteristics and not forced by association.
23. Having never participated in a fire drill. But knowing what to use to put out different types of fires.
24. Correcting every problem and paper, because that is where the learning takes place.
25. Paper, rock, scissors to see who brings toilet paper to whoever is yelling from a helpless location.
26. Avoiding communicable diseases, standardized tests, group think, low expectations, and politically tainted curriculum.
27. Having friends and family that agree with homeschooling, and also those who never ask your kids “How’s school going?”
28. No recognition, hi-fives, back slaps, teacher’s awards, bonus checks, or praise, but carrying on with your best possible effort anyway.
29. Finishing at noon or starting at noon. Just depends…
30. Bringing your grandparents on field trips.
31. A kitchen used as much (or more) for science as cooking.
32. Deciding time with the kids is worth more than the money that could be earned apart.
33. Cold Monday mornings in bed reading. Tuesdays at the movies to beat the crowds. Wednesdays out to lunch after math. Saturday science.
34. Being home to rescue and raise frog eggs from the pool, baby birds from abandoned nests, snails from the sidewalk, and hosting stray racing pigeons while they rest and refuel on their journey.
35. Enjoying math because the cool kids didn’t tell you not to.
36. Learning life skill through real life experiences.
37. Using every square inch of your home, but possibly not for what it was originally intended.
38. Driving all over town looking for split peas (that apparently no one eats) to extract visible DNA.
39. Homemade transcripts more accurate than many of their milled counterparts.
40. Smirking at those who had no idea you homeschool when they compliment your well-socialized kids.
41. Cringing when you come across that homeschool family who meets all the stereotypes you try to outrun, and then remembering that’s their road, not yours.
42. Washing 15 cups a day. At minimum.
43. Other kids, or their moms, asking if you will homeschool them too.
44. Not eating dinner together at the table because you’ve been together all day.
45. Reminding your kids what grade they are in, and changing it depending on the situation.
46. Calling off school because…
47. Having no idea what you’re doing but having it all planned out and color coded in a notebook.
48. Buying new curriculum, not because the old didn’t work, but because you like new curriculum.
49. Love. The other parts are sweat, blood, tears, and coffee.
50. Not seeing the fruit of your labor for years to come, and, even then, not getting credit for it with the anti-homeschool crowd. But who cares what they think anyway? You’ll (hopefully) see that amazing, moral, productive, beautiful adult and you’ll know… You built that!

 

The Part of Homeschooling I left Out

What random part of homeschooling do you think I left out that would be a great addition to my homeschool informational (bathroom reading) material? I’d like to hear what “part of homeschooling” is like for you.

Did I get anything wrong? If so, keep that part to yourself.

After all, we each have our own certain “part of homeschooling” that we do in our own weird way that looks like random chaos to others.

Therefore, if you don’t identify with my list, just remember this is not your yellow-brick road to terrorize. It’s mine. And I’m proud to say these are my monkeys. *Update: One of the actually flies now. And I’m behind each of them with a broom keeping them on track and giving the neighbors something to talk about, or at least mull over when they get home to poop.