Congratulations! You’ve just freaked out your friends, neighbors, and family with your intent to homeschool and ruin you kids’ chances for a normal life, so stand up and take a bow!  Now get a cup of coffee with unlimited refills, quit imagining those Stepford children, sit down and repeat after me:

 

Rome was not built in a day.”

The truth is that Rome took years to rise to grandeur, and then it crumbled faster than my kids can fill their laundry hamper with clothes they only thought about wearing.  So maybe Rome isn’t the best analogy. But, the point is, don’t expect everything to go as you imagined when you were kidnapping your kids from the public school secretary who smirked at you over her reading glasses with an expression that said, you’ll be back. And if you’ve always planned to homeschool, don’t expect little-house-on-the-prairie-manners and an extreme love of great literature to magically appear when you sit your oldest little darling down at the sweet school house desk you found at the antique fair.

In fact don’t expect anything.  Then you don’t have to feel like a failure if/when the following happens:

  • Your plan to have beds made, teeth brushed, breakfast served, and dressed children reciting Shakespeare by 9am sort of happens the first day and never again.
  • Your child that hated math, still hates math.
  • You look over the teacher’s manual and realize, you still hate math.
  • The crystals won’t grow.
  • You want them to think critically, so your children question the necessity of everything you make them do.
  • That expensive, award winning curriculum sucks.  And you already wrote in it.
  • You start to worry about socialization because your kids don’t know how to Whip or Nae Nae at the team party.
  • You discover it is best to write your lesson plans in pencil. Very lightly.
  • Painting X’s on the driveway for PE was a kind of ridiculous idea that won’t wash off.
  • You have to do a tick check after your first family nature walk.
  • You can’t make grammar funner.  Punctuation bingo didn’t quite catch on.
  • Grilled free-range chicken breast atop organic greens isn’t a practical lunch option.  Microwave taquitos, a God send.
  • Your child knows more about the topic you’re trying to teach than you do, thanks to Morgan Freeman.  You aren’t doing enough.
  • You’re out with friends and notice your son is wearing his shirt on backwards, unmatched socks, and is a month overdue for a haircut.
  • The library can host elaborate parties with the late fees it collects solely from your family.  And you never even read half the books you checked out.
  • Your child reminisces about everything fun (and fantasy) about public school and how they miss having friends in front of your biggest homeschool critic.

This list of things I once stressed over seems absurd now. Except for that I never actually painted any X’s on the driveway.  But I thought about it that first week as I had them run laps around the house while yelling which direction they were facing at each turn.  In the first year of homeschooling, Great Expectations are more than a hefty literary conquest by Charles Dickens. And every year after that we still hope for more than will ultimately be achieved. I think it does a homeschool good for mom to dream of perfection, aim for well done, and be okay with over easy.  We can plan and maneuver how we want things to go, but our children will ultimately be the biggest navigators of their homeschool journey.  By all means plan the trip, but allow for detours that will come, and learn from them, always forging ahead.

And one day when you’ve been a little more tenderized and seasoned into homeschooling, the neighbors will drive by as you take an unexpected picture of your kids posing in ridiculous outfits, with their faces covered in chalky-war-paint for no identifiable reason whatsoever.  The neighbor will probably wonder if your kids know how to read, or if you realize they are clearly immature and socially awkward for their ages.  But you won’t notice, because you know the truth. Your kids are awesome and unique. And their witty efforts to make you laugh are the kind of unexpected hiccup you’ve come to appreciate.

 

 

Homeschooling High School I'm not Afraid Anymore! (mostly)

Homeschooling high school used to be an imaginary distant realm I pondered only when nosy strangers or worried relatives brought it up, or between 11pm and 3am on days of the week that end in y. "We will worry about it when we get there," I'd say.  Or, "Yeah, we might...

Suddenly Homeschooling Parent Nightmare or No-Strings-Attached Opportunity?

Suddenly homeschooling, being forced into a new career that pays squat. The clients are ungrateful, always hungry, and filing complaints every 5 minutes. But, if you’ve ever tossed around the idea of homeschooling, here is your chance! If it doesn’t work out, you won’t be blamed. But what if it does?

If Scarlett O’Hara was a Homeschool Mom

Lawsy me, just call me Mizz Scarlet! I’m not into stealing husbands or anything. I barely tolerate my own at times. But I’m no Melanie Hamilton. I’m going to flaunt my homeschooling efforts around in red velvet, feathers, and an unapologetic raised eyebrow of defiance.

8 Reasons Why Summer Homeschool Plans Melt Away

Good intentions of summer homeschool drip away as the summer broils on. A list of summer school obstacles and observations.

A Great Texas Homeschool Family Field Trip Texas Great Homeschool Convention 2018

Come see me at the Texas Great Homeschool Convention, March 15-17 2018 in Ft. Worth, Texas! I’m pretty sure it totally counts as homeschooling since everything there will have the word “homeschool” or its various forms included in, printed on, or overwhelmingly implied within three entire days of inspiring home education overload.

Yes, My Kids Have Asked to go to School

And it was like being stabbed in the heart with the pretty blue math compass I bought him for 5th grade math! “… I just wanted to see what middle school is like and meet some new friends.” …I’m not protecting him. I’m providing him with an alternate route with which to emerge having lost none of himself.

Why It’s Okay to Homeschool One Year at a Time

“I don’t remember standing before God and having my family and friends witness me taking a vow to homeschool until graduation or death!… Instead, I made a silent promise that day. A promise that I would never quit seeking the best road for raising and educating my kids. No matter how uncomfortable, against the grain, or what looks or comments came my way, I would continuously seek the best educational opportunities I could provide my boys.

Are You a Hifalutin Homeschooler?

You might be a "Hifalutin Homeschooler"... if you believe you can do a better job overseeing your kid’s education than any school system. Or if you’ve seen the village and don’t want it raising your kids. Hifalutin-(southern slang) showing arrogance, pretentious,...

Spring Break at Home A 5-Day Family Staycation Adventure!

This year I've decided on an awesome plan for a spring break at home.  For these 3 reasons: (plus one more) A staycation will keep me distracted from homeschooling nonstop cause I'm a little bit OCD. A plan will keep spring break from becoming another week of...

10 Things I Hate About Homeschooling

…homeschooling is not all pencil bouquets, nature walks, and cocoa on the couch with story time. It may only be that you hate the cheap pencil sharpener that you settled for, or how the new globe is slightly off its axis, but you hate something about homeschooling, so fess up!

Please share!
Show Buttons
Hide Buttons