HOMESCHOOLING IS EXHAUSTING
Truth: Homeschooling is exhausting. As is parenting in general. This is just one of several worn-out weak excuses NOT to homeschool. Further down the page here is a list of other worn out excuses not to homeschool, but first let me tear this one apart…
Homeschooling is full-time parenting.
It requires parents to don their
big girl panties (or big boy briefs) and to have a harder head than their kids.
And so much love that we’re willing to lose sleep and hair to see it to the end!
Homeschooling is hard because parenting is hard. It requires us to give more of ourselves than is convenient. If it were easy, everyone who could swing it financially would homeschool.
I complain and whine to my best good homeschool friend all the time about how tired I am. How frustrated and worried. How unappreciated and under paid this gig is at times. And unaffordable I’d be if these were anyone else’s kids.
If you don’t have a best good homeschool friend to complain to, get one. Even if it’s a teacher’s furry pet, every homeschool parent needs someone to safely vent to on the hard days.
Because me and my best good homeschool friend know that despite the stories we tell each other, the gripes and complaints and failures we share, we both know that homeschooling was the right decision for our families. And we aren’t quitting.
The current instability in this country is enough for any good parent to wonder if there is a better way. To seriously contemplate homeschooling. Even before the virus of 2020, and the political and social storm that followed, the thunder rolled and parents had real concerns that led to homeschooling. After 2020 those reasons became exponential!
I did a survey of my readers a few years back and discovered the top 10 reasons parents choose to homeschool.
EXCUSES… EXCUSES!
I suspect today many more anxious parents than ever before see homeschooling as probably a good decision, but they continue to use the lamest old excuses to hide from the calling and inconvenience of homeschooling.
If you homeschool, you have know doubt heard or once used one of these excuses yourself.
Many of the most popular excuses are deflections of parental ability. Self-defense disguised as self deprecation.
from: Socialize Like a Homeschooler, A Humorous Homeschool Handbook
Sometimes other moms will just insult themselves right out of the blue when they find out I homeschool my kids. “I could never do that!”
As if we homeschool moms go around demanding everyone homeschool. Or we’re actively recruiting cult members or extra wives to haul away in our homemade carts and buggies out back.
We don’t need to go around coercing parents into homeschooling. It is an individual family decision. We don’t get a credit toward curriculum purchases for recruiting newbies. (Although how nice would that be?)
The self deprecation is a guilty reflex. We’re not judging you for not homeschooling, folks. But it’s clear when you are struggling internally with a worry that’s getting louder and louder.
WORN OUT EXCUSES NOT TO HOMESCHOOL
The following worn out excuses not to homeschool are either a deflection of guilt for not wanting to try homeschooling, or a last gasp effort to talk themselves out of the decision their heart has already made. Rejecting the mainstream educational system and committing to walk away for freedom and independence is a scary struggle for many, so along come more deflective excuses.
And I quote…
“I’m not patient enough to homeschool. I get too frustrated with my kids.”
Bwahahaa! Listen…If I were patient I would have given up homeschooling 12 years ago. We would never have gotten anything done. We would probably be covered in mold or turned to stone still waiting for one of my sons to finish his writing journal from our first Monday as homeschoolers.
It is because I am short on patience that we get things done! And why that same son has since graduated and is away at college and flying airplanes as I type this.
Because we had much to do in a few short years of homeschooling, and because I don’t sleep well with too many open tabs, I think my impatience kept us moving forward. Patience is a virtue, but too much patience will get you no where fast.
Another common excuse…
“I can’t homeschool. My kids don’t listen to me.”
Every time I hear this one I want to respond with, I’m sorry, what did you say? Then walk away.
Seriously, all children are born deaf and hardheaded. And the condition only temporarily subsides when you’re on an important, private phone call locked in the bathroom whispering with the water running in the sink. Then they hear every word and repeat it to all who will listen to what they’ve learned.
Because of this phenomenon… I had an idea for a curriculum once, where you teach history like an eavesdropping gossip chain!
-
- My Gossip-Chain History Curriculum Proposal:
The teacher will hide on the toilet and whisper conspiratorially….
”That uppity girl named Joan who thinks she’s so special, well, she said she can, like, lead an army for her friend the king.
I don’t know, girl… I heard she may have a crush on him.
Mmmhmm!
And get this… she says God told her to. And everyone was like, NO WAY!
And she was like, WAY. And you know what?
She did it! She fought like a beast, all hair pulling, swords, and crazy cat claws and stuff.
That king should have decreed a holiday named after her. But I hear, he just wasn’t that into her. Cause someone called her a witch and he didn’t even take up for her!
And now, I smell smoke! Girl, for real.”
I’m still working out the syllabus details, but you get the idea. (publishers: email me if you want to collaborate)
A better option for learning American Government and Civics for now…
American Civics with Michael Farris!
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Still another excuse that’s an obvious cop-out…
“I could never homeschool (insert your stubborn child’s name here). She/he and I argue about everything.”
Well, ya. And?
Some kids are visual learners. Others are kinesthetic or auditory learners. Two of mine are argumentative.
Duh, ever heard of debate? Sure, we argue about everything from the true reason for commas to which way is up if the earth is round.
A child that won’t argue is either asleep or can’t form an original thought because they’ve been taught to follow without question.
Lots of our disagreements still end with me saying, “Because I said so!” But when my kids’ arguments are not short sighted or immature, I’m proud they’ve at least learned to think and build up ammo for a stance. Teaching your kids to question everything is part of great homeschooling.
Perhaps the worst or strangest excuse not to homeschool…
“You are much braver than me. I just can’t be with my kids that much.”
Why? You don’t like them? Will you turn into a pumpkin? Is there a restraining order?
This one always perplexes me. Saddens me. I’m left wondering if being separated from their kids is to keep parents safe from their kids, or their kids safe from them.
Really I think this is code for, “I’d rather do something easier.”
And honestly not everyone can or should homeschool. I’m not advocating for that at all.
I’m speaking to those who know deep down they could.
Maybe they should.
They kind of want to, but…
What will the neighbors think?
…and what about me time?
READ THE WHOLE LIST: Ten Commandments of a Homeschool Mom
WHY I HOMESCHOOL ANYWAY
All these excuses not to homeschool and more may seem somewhat reasonable on a day to day basis. Life appears to get in the way when we think of education as a timed and scheduled bullet-pointed activity where kids are herded from subject to subject, classroom to gym to carpool line. However…
Homeschool is a lifestyle.
And the “school” is silent.
No excuse can compete with the important reasons most parents start to feel compelled to homeschool in the first place; the complete well-being of their child physically, academically, and spiritually.
Which is why these excuses are such lame last attempts to convince themselves not to. What’s more important, the false perception of a smooth professionally-guided education system that is largely failing students, or your individual child’s needs?
And besides it’s like my good homeschool friend always says…
If you’re going to ruin a kid, you might as well keep them home and do it yourself!
Seriously though, ask yourself which you will regret giving up more when they are grown and gone.
I never imagined being a homeschool mom. Ever. I was going to be a career woman. I went to physician assistant school, which is like.. ½ of medical school, y’all, I’m a board certified PA with a Master’s in Public Health.
The irony of questioning and planning what I was going to do with my life to leave a mark on this world.. as I drove my oldest two children to school each day for someone else to teach and mold still haunts me. I want those 3 years back.
By 2nd grade, my kids were miserable in public school. They were treated like a cog in a wheel, they were tired and stressed all the time, I was being schooled by the teacher on what I could teach my kids outside the classroom.
And I wanted my boys back.
God gave them to us to raise. Why are parents outsourcing the main event?
It was then that I realized, at the end of my life my children will have been my biggest contribution to the world. And I was taking the easy way out for the convenience of free time, and because society said that is the way it’s done. It’s what kids do. They go to school.
(imagines being at the pearly gates and God shaking his head, “Jennifer, I gave you 3 precious gifts and one job…”)
Then God hit me upside the head with a homeschool catalog (so to speak)… read the rest of the story HERE.
SCARED TO LEAP
What those scared to leap into homeschool don’t understand, looking into the pleasantly exhausted eyes of homeschool moms (and ignoring their own dark circles of worry and helpless exhaustion) is that homeschooling, when we find the backbone and strength to make it happen, brings a life affirming purpose that so many search for and never find in our distracting careers and hobbies.
You don’t have to be patient or Mary Poppins to homeschool.
Patience is seeing the trees despite the overwhelming forest that is educating your child until adulthood. The trees being the little amazing things that happen daily. Like when your child learns to read, builds something cool, teaches their sibling a new skill, or tries something new or completes a task without being asked.
We make homeschooling happen one day at a time, week by week, month by month, year by year. The end result will justify the struggle. By finding the strength to keep going on days nothing goes as planned, and to walk away from those against homeschooling who would bring us down for their own insecurities takes beautiful determination.
Parents have to constantly find their strength and determination in their love for their kids.
THE POINT OF HOMESCHOOLING
One of my teens once asked me what was the point of me homeschooling him and his brothers, when I could go out and get a job that actually paid.
I told him…
“You are my point. Don’t forget that. My paycheck is time with you I can never get
back if I went to work. It’s also how you turn out, so make me proud!”
Homeschooling is not easy, but anything worth doing is rarely easy. However, it is simple to get started homeschooling…
Read: Quick Start Homeschooling Guide!
Don’t make excuses now to avoid what you’ll later wholly regret.
Parents often reminisce… Oh where did the time go? Because gosh it goes by fast! One minute you’re potty training and the next you’re gripping the dashboard teaching them to drive.
But homeschool parents know where they time went…because we were there for it all. Possibly exhausted, but giving it our best.
No excuses.
Homeschooling can’t work a miracle. And yes, it can work you to exhaustion.
The miracle is choosing to do it anyway.
