Beware the current homeschool flattery by the desperate. Keep your guard up. Beware what happens after the respiratory vapors clear.

Don the tinfoil hat and walk with me a minute…

Rat Races and Plague

I can’t wait to not join the stampede back to socialization when we get released from home imprisonment. Being out in public has always been germ warfare to me. Obsessive use of hand sanitizer and avoiding people with “just allergies” eroded my fingerprints and friendships years ago.

Germaphobia plus homeschooling: I’m not used to being such a trendsetter. I’m literally one of the most hip people I know right now. Well, according to the CDC and everyone stuck at home trying to teach real math for the first time.

I’m not flattered. I’m worried. I’ll get to that below, but first let me say…

I’m no more worried about catching this virus than any other random stomach bug, or pc groupthink that melts kids’ common sense. I admit to being…shall we say…vigilantly untrusting. But hear me out to the end of this before you shame me in the comments. Which I’ll probably delete because, you know, contamination.

Statistically speaking, we were more likely to be injured or die when we were driving to swim practice 4 days a week than from catching the ‘rona. Not to mention we were suffering from extreme exhaustion and spiritual fatigue from just keeping up with the Joneses.

I’d like to not go back to that place completely.

Rats carry plague, and the rat race carries life-sucking burnout. We were all infected.

And so, to give credit, where credit is due…Thanks, covid-19, for pointing out my transcript padding OCD issues. Now go back to hell where you came from, and take the following people and things with you…

Well nope, I better keep that list to myself.

 

Do We Want Our Life Back

My latest 2am conundrum is how to proceed when they open the gates back-up.

Well, that and how to lose the 5-15 pounds I’m currently packing  on experimenting in the kitchen to avoid sitting around eating my feelings. No, the irony and calories are not lost to me. (p.s. homeschool makes you fat)

Do I want that life back where we ate more takeout, but checked more boxes?

Yes, I’m totally ready to return to social distancing on my own terms. Recent mornings I turn on the news and think, I’d like to lick a subway handrail in front of that person right there, just cause they told me not to.

And then I realize why my kids act the way they do. We are homeschoolers, we don’t like to be micromanaged.

Can We Get Our Lives Back?

The real question is will we be able to get our homeschool lives back? (why parents traditionally choose to homeschool)

Remember getting excited about those days we had nowhere we had to go? It was more satisfying when everyone else still had to go.

What if they don’t have to go back? Or get to go back? However you want to put it, have the implications of everyone homeschooling indefinitely crossed your mind?

Before this mess broke out, we homeschoolers micromanaged ourselves into a different kind of prison. One where all our free time was locked into a crazy schedule for activities and transcript fodder we don’t completely miss.

Our dog agrees with the stay-at-home order. Also, he is tired of going on 4 walks a day.

Ya, we needed to slow down. Changes have taken place. We’ve enjoyed being together, and not enjoyed it, we’ve discussed more, argued more, cooked more, increased our hair length and waistlines, we’re plowing through at a record pace academically, and we’ve upped our Sunday “church” attendance (even if it’s in our living room).

But something doesn’t feel right?

We are all cleaning house together. And looking forward to it!?

Cleaning house is now an extracurricular activity in our sadly shrunken homeschool world? Like how we looked forward to the tv cart being wheeled into the classroom as a child in public school.

Homeschooling is so much bigger than our own backyards. This isn’t the life we chose. We have very little choice suddenly.

And that’s how I know we’ve got to get out of this place.

Because I’m worried we’re being swept into another growing problem….

 

Beware the Embrace of a Drowning Man

Besides losing a loved one to the virus, or my husband losing his job at a hospital that ironically has too few patients, my biggest fear in all of this is the poisonous connection being made between homeschoolers and those who would love to slip some regulations and requirements into our morning baskets.

I’m reluctant to see the homeschool crowd get wooed by praise and reach out to help a crowd who might appear to be looking to us for guidance now, but who largely frowns upon homeschooling when all is right in their world.

Now, I’m not saying don’t lend your friends and family some curriculum, advice, and glitter crafts (snort).

Just that we should beware of the flattering embrace of the drowning man (i.e. the public-school system). Trying to help in this situation is like swimming out to help a drowning person 100 times your size and not seeing the risk of being taken down with them.

We need to practice homeschool distancing.

I’m increasingly concerned for our homeschool freedom. Especially if schools don’t go back in the fall. What rules and regulations will befall all who claim to “homeschool.” Because as it stands now, anything bad that happens to any children during this time can be exploited as directly related to homeschooling by nefarious characters.

How do we set ourselves apart at this point? Everyone thinks they are “homeschooling” now.

 

Don’t Call it Homeschooling

Calling it homeschooling is a false title dangerously linking to us. It’s more like an endless bad weather day with homework raining into inboxes for parents to oversee and keep the Wi-Fi going through the storm.

That’s not homeschooling. We can’t begin to explain the difference to the country right now, not between covid task force updates and gladiator governor tournaments. We can offer advice though, throw a life preserver maybe, but we shouldn’t get in the water with this issue.

Yes, I have a whole collection of tinfoil hats.

Which is why I turned down an offer to speak at an online conference specifically for parents who are suddenly “homeschooling.” I don’t think many of these people really want to hear from us. But mostly I said no because all I could think to say was (besides Get off my lawn! It’s not you, it’s me.):

This will pass. The conveyor belt of education sits idling, waiting where the kids left off and collecting our tax dollars while you ask me how to temporarily override several years of “new math” instructions.
This stressful scary parenting situation is not homeschooling. Call it what you want. I like “Social Distance Learning” or “Tag-You’re-It-Teaching.” Just don’t call it homeschooling. Also, best wishes and long live Wi-Fi.

Someone is sure to say I’m being insensitive. Maybe I’m going to hell with the people and things I didn’t list. Fortunately, like our choice to homeschool, that’s not for anyone but God to decide.  I just want to keep it that way. (removes tinfoil hat)

Be safe. Be smart. Don’t lick the handrails.