Once upon a time there was a homeschool mom.
Wait. Hold on. I’m getting ahead of myself.
Ok, once there was this fresh young coed with dreams of high rise dinner parties, trendy leather bags, and awe inspiring career achievements in medicine. After receiving a BS in Physician Assistant studies and a Master’s of Public Health, she spent many a glamorous evening sewing up drunks in the ER, working to keep their escaping body fluids off her pristine white coat and fending off their stellar proposals of marriage. Already hitched to a handsome Spanish surgical PA, she was not tempted.
Shortly thereafter she was knocked up with twins. The end.
Or rather, the beginning.
In short. Nothing ever goes as planned. I planned to have one girl. “BAM!,” said God. “Here’s your twin boys. You’re welcome.” Then, almost 4 years later, “BAM! Almost forgot one,” he said tossing us a third installment. For some reason God had a voice like Emeril Lagasse while I thought out this post. Work with me here.
Naturally they would all attend public school after 3 years of mother’s-day-out and preschool. And so the twins rocked Kindergarten with their 5 year old cuteness. And I made ridiculously clever snacks for their classes when asked. I refused to be homeroom mom and kiss the teacher’s rump and chaperone the Xerox machine.  Nope. Not me. I had time to waste errands to run and a toddler at preschool home.
By first grade, the carpool line was sucking the life out of the toddler who spent 3 hours a day harnessed in the back seat covered in banana and learning ventriloquist road rage techniques aimed at moms who park and chat in the pickup lane.  And what the heck were my other two doing there for 8 hours a day?  Inevitably, I was about to drag their grouchy, snot-covered attitudes home to use the last bits of daylight teaching them whatever they were supposed to have already learned. Then after dinner we got to read ridiculous readers about a rat that sat on cat with a bat.
I never did tell the teachers what I thought about that.
But this was the way things were done. So we did. And my boys were of the smartest in their class. We read books way above grade level to be rebellious at bedtime. We discussed science, music, and politics in the car because they were curious and mostly bored out of their minds at school. But they were receiving gold stars and stamped certificates for being good, little manageable students. So we stayed the course.
But then 2nd grade happened. The lessons were easy, and they finished fast enough to wander the classroom discovering ways to distract the other kids and annoy the teacher. Which led to teacher texted hints toward a possible need for a tranquilizing dart ADHD diagnosis.
Oh no she didn’t!
Instead of being allowed to move on ahead, they were placed next to special needs students and asked to help. Which is great for a time or two, but fair for their abilities? I think not.
They were locked out of sections of the library deemed to difficult for mainstream 2nd graders. No matter that one twin read on a 7th-8th grade level! We were asked to leave the books he read on his own at home, so as not to make the less literary kids feel bad. WHAT!? What about encouraging achievement!?
Tears flowed every morning as more and more my children, who loved to learn, were made to feel like oddballs by other kids and annoying outliers by their teachers. And realizing I was doing most of the teaching during homework time every evening anyway, I started snooping into the lives of weird unsocialized homeschool families.
Every reason I could find to homeschool was staring me in the face, but I couldn’t get past my own public schooled mentality that I should leave it to those who knew best. But did they? Didn’t I have two degrees? Didn’t I teach these amazing boys to walk, talk, tie their shoes, use a spoon, and aim for cheerios in the toilet! Wait! I had taught them to read before Kindergarten. That was me! And one twin had just explained the US Pentagon in Washington to his puzzled classmates during a lesson on shapes recently. Yup, that was me too. But still, they’ll be weird and homely looking, right? And I’ll have to wear a denim jumper and sell strange oils!Â
Deep down I knew I could do it. I wanted my babies at home with me. I wanted them to remain annoying questioners of everything. I wanted them to read for pleasure and curiosity, not for those evil AR points. To take field trips and see and be in the world rather than tucked away waiting to live. But I couldn’t just jump off the cliff. I didn’t dare tell the boys what I was contemplating.
So, I asked God to slap me upside the head with a homeschool catalog or something, if this is what I was supposed to do. I hoped he’d be really obvious about it, like a note home from school expelling my boys for loitering on the wrong side of the library.
He slapped me alright.  With the one thing he knew I’d listen to most. My son.  A morning before school, while forcing him to get dressed so we weren’t late, he began to cry, as was becoming routine. And as I tried to tell him he was great and it would be okay, and to be proud to be himself, he yelled at me, “I hate school! Even the teacher thinks I’m weird. Why do you take me up there and leave me where nobody loves me or cares about me? You’re supposed to teach me!”
Message received.
And so we leapt off the cliff together. And a homeschool mom was born. Best decision that ever knocked me upside the head. Taking it one year at a time, we’re 4 years and counting.
 And it was everything I never knew I always wanted to do.Â
I love this! I’m an accidental homeschool mom myself and this is dead on!
Thank you! You are my first official comment on the blog! You totally deserve a gold star, or commemorative plaque. I hope to be sending you one or the other when my book hits the NYT Bestseller list. Don’t hold your breath or anything, I haven’t begun to write it yet. But keep your email address in case I need to contact you in a few years or so.
Glad to hear others have experienced the anxiety of it all. So many times we are scared to tell the truth about why we decided to homeschool. Sure God led us to, but the push off the cliff isn’t always to pretty. And thanks for stopping by! Come back soon!
FANTASTIC!! Thanks for sharing you life with us. I homeschool my 3 and love to hear about others journeys.
I love your story! Thanks for sharing. I am glad you got knocked upside the head. 🙂
Oh thank you! Sometimes a punch in the face is just what we need. Thanks for reading and please come back and share with your homeschool friends!
You were always an EDUCATOR … even when we were in school. You were the go to girl for answers !!! LOLOL
Love you Madam H.!
Cory
Love you too, Cory! I had no idea I was always an educator?! Opinionated and hard headed, maybe….. 🙂
Another “against my will” homeschool mom of 19 years here, and I LOVE this post! Incidentally, an ADHD diagnosis also played into our decision and helped push us over the edge. We have no regrets!
So many of your posts give me hope and renew my spirit in homeschooling! We are accidental homeschoolers, having made it through elementary years before a move to a horrendous school district forced my hand. There truly is nothing more heartbreaking than watching a child who loves to learn have the joy sapped it of them each day. Thank you for your words!
And thank you for sharing this with me. It was a scary to hit publish when I wrote this article a little over a year ago. I knew their old teachers might read it and not like my thoughts, but I hoped there were other mothers who would gather strength from it. Aren’t you glad your hand was forced?!
Absolutely! I wouldn’t trade this life for anything!
I love this. Beautifully written words and I feel your sentiment! I never thought I’d homeschool either but I’m starting year 3! It has turned out to be a blessing and everything I didn’t know I wanted for me as well. Thankful that Gods plans are better than my own.
Thank you for sharing.
Waiting to be slapped here. Keep asking God to make it incredibly obvious.
Awesome article! Like you, my wife and I started homeschooling with the providential two-by-two over the head method. We now have five graduates from our home school (so far two even have college degrees) with two to go as we are about to start our 22nd year. Oh, and we acquired a homeschool publishing company along the way. So now we got all kinds of skin int he game. I could have never written a biography this adventurous and exiting. It’s like a roller coaster with twists and turns and the occasional lazy river ride to take it all in and smile. That’s why I’m living by faith and enjoying the homeschooling adventure of a lifetime.
What out. God has big plans for you missy.
Davis Carman – President of Apologia Educational Ministries
Wow! Thank you for this amazing review. Your comment has me cheesing from ear to ear. I strive to keep it real, make the reader laugh, and maybe inspire.
The success of graduates must feel amazing. I can only imagine for now, but I have high hopes for these three.
Man…I prayed EVERY DAY for God NOT to ask this of me. It just sounded dreadful and I liked wearing makeup and jeans and having short hair. Don’t all homeschoolers wear buns and have make-up free faces and wear jumpers and calico??? But 6 years into our journey out of public school and I can not imagine anything else…even when I just long to go to Hobby Lobby…alone.. I totally appreciate every word you wrote, here. Thank you!
HAHA! Jumpers and buns! Yes, isn’t it funny the stereo types we associated before we knew? My boys hate Hobby Lobby. Sometimes I pretend to pull in the parking lot just to hear them groan. 😉 Thanks for reading and appreciating. Fist bump!
This is exactly my story. I always mentally judged homeschool kids (and parents) and declared that my child would go to public school and excel there just as I did. After all, how can your child be a light to the world when they aren’t allowed to be in it? Then God gave me a daughter who loves to move, who can’t sit still to save her life, and who loves to create artistically even as she learns. She also loves to play and be outdoors. What would the school system do to her, forcing her to sit still for 7-8 hours a day? God slowly began to open me up to a reality of how much better her life (and mine, really) would be if I chose to teach her myself. We are now starting 3rd grade this year, and while it isn’t always easy, I wouldn’t change it for anything!
What a wonderful story! Thank you for sharing. Everything we thought we knew or cared about changes when we become parents.
THIS WAS SO BEAUTIFUL IT WAS JUST SO MOVING U R AN AMAZING HUMAN BEIN IM GLAS I GOT TO READ THIS STORY!!!
Wow, thanks so much. I’m glad my words were able to reach you personally.
The words your son spoke to you were exactly what I felt like, and why I had wished I was homeschooled. My teachers weren’t mean, but I just always felt out of place, and I wanted to be with my mom who loved me more than anything.
Are you still practicing as a PA? I, too, am a PA. As is my husband. I desperately want to homeschool but I would still need to work (possibly just 2-3 days). We have time to figure it out, but I’m brainstorming and praying about it. I love your insight and humor!
Also, I know God led me right to this blog. I was just googling some homeschooling info and stumbled across this article. I’ve been wrestling being a “career woman” (I mean, we went to school for half a million years) with homeschooling our kids in the future.
It certainly sounds like you were led here! So glad you found me.
I am not a practicing PA, but I do keep my license current just in case. We took an income hit, but don’t feel what $$ we are missing would even compare to the memories and time with our kids we would miss.
However, you could totally homeschool and still work part-time with a good scheduling. Your school means your way of doing things. And where there’s a will, there’s a way!
I’m a homeschool graduate from 2003 with a BA degree in music. My mother was a nurse working part time and homeschooled me and my three younger siblings. She was a rock star for everything that she did.
She sounds like an amazing lady. 🙂
You can definitely keep working 2-3 days a week and homeschool. I am a family physician and have a busy office practice. You just school around your schedule and use any method that makes it easier for you. We use Monarch, Acellus, and UnLock math because there is no need for me to do all the grading. We use lots of teachable moments and field trips.
That is great that you have found what works for you and able to keep your career too.
Hello from another accidental (now retired because I ran out of kids) homeschool mom!
Love this blog post. So true!
Thought you might be encouraged to read my story. You know, since my kids are now all grown and married (gasp), have jobs, and (double gasp) plan to homeschool their own children.
http://indoctrinationmovie.com/i-will-never-homeschool-my-kids/
Hi, just seeing your comment. Can’t wait to check out your article! Its great to hear from mom’s who have already crossed the homeschool finish line. 🙂
Thank you so much for your post. It was great to read. I am a homeschool graduate planning to homeschool my two little ones and doing a little already. I was in a Christian school for most of elementary and then homeschool 6-12. I have to say I loved it. I was heavily involved in the music side of learning and now a professional piano teacher. My senior year I was student director of a children’s choir, student director of a girls ensemble and involved with three other choir. I am now director of the children’s choir I directed in high school and love it. Our program is called CHEA SINGERS. Anyway, thanks for your post and it’s nice to know that there are a lot of us out there who have decided to educate our children when the schools can’t quite get it.
I love hearing from another musical family. Way to go! And thanks for reading. 🙂
This was hilarious! Looking forward to reading more of your blog. We’re two years in and I have never regretted my decision.
This so perfectly parallels my family’s experience with public school. I have also have twin boys and they entered kindergarten knowing how to tie their shoes, add and subtract. They were reading well (on a 3rd grade level as per the school’s own testing), very excited about history and science and they understood advanced math concepts like multiplication, division and even negative numbers. They LOVED learning, asked questions continuously and I loved teaching them. For many reasons, I never even considered homeschooling them. WHY OH WHY???!!! So we slogged through two soul sucking years in public kindergarten and first grade, during which a teacher told us directly at conferences not to teach our boys so much at home because it made them bored and the principal told us in a separate meeting that they could not give the kids more advanced math to learn because eventually they would “run out of math.” Oh boy. We, too, had the experience of everything in the library but picture books being off limits to our kindergarteners who were reading chapter books!! I actually went to battle with the school on that one and we supposedly gained the right to check out ANY book, and more than one book at a time, but then we never saw the day when that was really allowed during library time. I knew the school librarian well and I don’t think she liked children. We had enough and ran to private school. Second through fourth grade in private school and I FINALLY came to my senses last year and realized that nobody was going to teach them like we could at home. I’m so thankful we made the change and so happy to have found your hilarious take on all of this. 🙂 Thank you!!
Love it. My wife had two half sisters who were unschooled by an evil witch, plus she thinks she can’t do this. I’m pretty sure I can rock this kindergarten thing – you only need to stay one step ahead. Even if it weren’t for the public schools totally abandoning education in favor of reindoctrinating my son against his parents teaching, they just flat out do a miserable job of teaching any more. I’m still trying to decide if I’m willing to trade in all my available time with my son for homeschool at night myself.
You CAN, and she can, too! It just takes the jump to figure it out. It is a journey for sure…I have a BSEd in elementary education. The way I see it is if you love your kids and want the best education for them, you can do it.
It took me longer than you (for good reasons) but we’re homeschooling high school
God willing, we’ll get through Latin and we won’t burn down the house.
Love your blog and your stories! (Just read this one and the one about dealing with those people who are against homeschooling). I’m homeschooling my son preschool. And my husband and I have decided to homeschool until at least until 2nd grade (I hope longer, but only if my husband supports that and it’s God’s will!). Anyways, thanks a lot for sharing all of your thoughts! It’s very supportive to many parents! I’m currently searching/reading of how to deal with those family members against our homeschooling decision! Your article has helped me a lot!
My son does have adhd. He is crazy smart, really creative, and asks questions constantly. Needless to say his 6 months in public kindergarten were enough. My happy child cried to me daily and said he hated school and could he just go to work with me? I had a big career and I was horrified at giving it up but now I don’t regret a thing. We are starting second? Grade and the sparkle in his eyes is back full force.
I can so relate to this. I asked God to send me a sign because I was so reluctant to take the plunge and never saw myself homeschooling. So thankful that I can relate to other moms who have felt the same.
I am a credentialed teacher (completed all the work for the elementary credential, then added on the single subject credential in math and then the special ed. credential). I taught public school. Then my twin girls were born. I could not send them to public school either. In the years since I left the school, things changed dramatically. So I am with you–an unlikely home school teacher too! I am so glad you listened to your adorable son.
I was tired of having to defend my son nearly every school day, from the public school teacher. I got fed up with hearing them tell me how wonderful my son is, followed by them asking me if my son has been diagnosed with any type of ADD. Long story short, we started homeschooling the beginning of 4th grade, and by the time he was entering high school, I had shaky confidence that it was possible to homeschool through high school. Did it, and when I had to get his transcripts ready, he had completed more subjects than what the local high schools require. I did include Bible 9, Bible 10, Bible 11, and Bible 12 on his transcripts. The local college accepted his official looking high school diploma and the official looking transcripts, and he was (to our happy surprise) an A student in college. Which couldn’t be predicted through his procrastination through high school. He is now working towards becoming a Marine. That said, the biggest blessing is, God paved the trail and kept His promise. We’ve had our fair share of the negativity comments over the years. Even during our son’s graduation ceremony, guests were questioning the validity of the ceremony…(whatever)… we did our thorough research well in advance to make sure we were within our legal rights. We did receive minor questioning from the college and from the Recruiter’s office, but we stayed calm, on the outside, the inside was a different story, and in a kind way, asked if they would like to speak with our (HSLDA) attorney. The college backed down immediately, and let our son register for classes, the Recruiter’s office did receive a call from our attorney, which from that point on, our son was able to progress with pursuing his dream. Living proof that God does provide a complete plan, regardless of who tries to stand in the way. Not intending to use this platform to be on a soap box, but wanted to be an example to others who might be doubting whether they can homeschool through high school.