After all the hoopla and fear mongering over homeschooling high school, I’m pleased to say that I’ve finished the first year and gained the homeschool freshman fifteen. And a new perspective.

We finished homeschooling twins through freshmen year, during a pandemic, and the chaos of a presidential election year and all I could think was…

Wait. That was it? It wasn’t so hard. It was kind of fun actually. Wait. Why are my pants so tight?   

Also, Lord Jesus, give me strength. Strength to guide them on Your path and to stop eating caramel M&Ms while pre-reading dystopian novels for 10^th grade.

I’ve gained the homeschool freshman fifteen.

Yes, I’ve probably gained 15 pounds from learning to bake bread and stress eat during quarantine. But I’ve also gained 15+ insights into homeschooling high school after finishing the first year confidently and mostly unscathed.

Homeschool Freshman Fifteen

1. Homeschooling high school is mostly providing resources and pallets of snacks, locating lost calculators, and holding up the answer key in self-defense.
2. “Okaaaay… I got it. I don’t need your help. You don’t understand. This is stupid!” These statements are all code for …I’m frustrated, please help me without it looking like you’re helping me.
3. The transcript is the easy part. And possible the biggest parent-centered task, past grading work and keeping the pantry stocked. By 9^th grade, many homeschooled kids are self-propelled, no teacher at the blackboard needed.
   
4. Thank God we were already homeschooling high school when 2020 happened. Will anyone believe this transcript-on-steroids and how much we were able to accomplish while stuck at home?
5. Moms of teens need socialization. It’s hard living with and educating people who know everything already. You will need to vent to a best good homeschool friend. Get one.
6. You will be badgered whether you wake them up early (over the sound of their own alarm) to get started. You will also get badgered if you let them sleep-in on a day they secretly planned to finish lessons early and start researching universities after volunteering at a soup kitchen. Uh-huh, sure. It’s a no-win situation. Do what you need to do.
   

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7. Reading aloud is still a thing at age 15, 18… 41. Yes, they’ll grumble and swear they’ll read it on their own. But it saves time and increases comprehension to discuss as you go. Plus, it’s nice to have at least one thing you do all cozy and together. And some day while studying alone in a stuffy college dorm, they’ll miss it. Ahem… I hope.
8. Homeschooling high school is easier than homeschooling elementary. Maybe not as much fun, if you enjoy crafting and handwriting tantrums. But you’re more likely to drink your coffee whilst still hot, just saying… Middle school is sometimes the best and worst of both.
9. Teens need to talk, debate, argue, and question your beliefs against what they see in the world to establish their own beliefs. It’s exhausting and unnerving at times, but this is the most crucial and rewarding part of homeschooling. Listen. Stay calm. Discuss. Eat chocolate. Learn together. Stand your ground. Help them learn to do the same with logic and reason. Eat more chocolate.
10. Every new lesson/endeavor/challenge goes better with food. Find a way to include it.
    My mantra: Food to mouth to memory.
11. Movies and documentaries are often as (or more) effective that a boring chapter in a textbook. They’re not always completely accurate, but that gives you a springboard to assign research and more discussion. Plus, viewing movies frees up hands for… You guessed it, food!
12. Setting a certain amount of work that must be done each day, and then giving the option to move ahead at their own pace, works better that free-range procrastination.
13. Emotions are not acceptable shields against responsibility and respect. That goes for the teens as well. We all have bad days, get frustrated. But we have to show them how adults are supposed to act. Sarcasm is just so fun though…
14. Let them (or make them) do the things. There will be bleach stains on clothes and towels, meals won’t taste just right, the grass won’t be cut in a perfect pattern, a trip to the post office could mean motion sickness and a busted mailbox with a new driver…but this is their time to learn to adult. Bite your tongue, sit on your hands. Pray.
15. When it comes to homeschooling, success is hard to accept. We teach and guide them with all we have, so one day they won’t need us, but it’s hard to give-up the reins. And oh my is it going fast now!

The end is Nigh!

All the things we said we’d worry about when they got to high school suddenly became urgent when we realize we could see the light at the end of the tunnel barrelling toward us.

Oh gosh, that’s now. We’re there?! Quick… read these 12 books and balance this checkbook! Do you know how to open a  combination lock? Perhaps I should explain the bell curve before you leave for college…
(and other homeschool worries here)

We’ve only got a few years left to cram them full of all the learning, experiencing, and socializing (snort) we feel they need to be graduated into being their own responsibility. We want to soak up all the time to ourselves, and they want to us to cut the cord so they can hang with friends and test their abilities without being petted and nurtured.

It’s a cruel twist. Suddenly we need them more than they need us. But that was the plan all along. And we want them to go out and make a difference in the world. I mean…I am looking forward to signing myself up for classes at some point.

Learning to Let Go

In truth, we aren’t going to abandon them after they turn that tassel. And they won’t abandon us. I’m told that at some point they forget everything they know and come back for advice and mom’s stupendous pumpkin (psst…sweet potato) pie. They might even move back in for a season.

 

But our true homeschooling season is now, and it will be over so quickly.

My not-so experienced advice: Stack your most important lessons and must-get-to experiences on the front-end of the high school years. Because as the years progress teens get busy with outside activities and planning their future, and they begin to pull further away into their own person. As they should.

Homeschooling high school is so much different than I first anticipated. It’s not hard to homeschool high school. It’s hard to let go. Because the end is near, it seems to me these are the most precious years of homeschooling. Like putting the finishing touches on a work of art that you don’t get to keep. (sniffles and snot)