Happy New Year!, my fellow worn out moms staring at the cob webs now tethering your holiday decorations to your walls and furniture. Let not the stale Christmas cookies and bits of wrapping paper stuck under the couch deter us from just a little more celebrating!
Imagine that confetti and balloons just swept across your screen! (Cause I don’t know how to make that happen digitally.) They say our imaginations are far superior to any graphic or special effect computers or Hollywood can generate. So you are welcome for the awesome [insert favorite color here] glitter or flying unicorns that locate lost socks. Or whatever you can conjure up.
Hifalutin Homeschooler sprang up in 2016 on a fountain of sarcasm and comical introspection that spewed from my life as a homeschool mom. If you have kept up from the start, thank you for your nosy curiosity. If I have not offended you on some level yet, I promise to try harder this year. And if you are just joining us, welcome. Join us in 2017 and allow me to show you how not to take yourself too seriously.
So whether this is a recap for you, or you are just discovering Hifalutin Homeschool, lets look back on what my readers found the most informative, hilarious, outrageous, or possibly irritating and worthy of sharing on social media.
*Just click the pictures to link to each fabulous original article. And share. Do lots of that. Like belated Christmas gifts or New Year’s fortune cookies.
The Top 10 Most Hifalutin Posts of 2016!
Homeschool: The Not so Expected First Year Expectations. In fact don’t expect anything. Then you don’t have to feel like a failure if/when the following happens: …Your child that hated math, still hates math. You look over the teacher’s manual and realize, you still hate math. The crystals won’t grow….etc.
6 Slightly Ridiculous Reasons My Kids Like Homeschooling. When busy bodies ask my kids, “How do you like homeschooling?” I freeze. And I stop breathing. And I brace for the random brilliant answers to follow. And by random I mean, who knows what is about to hit me in the face; a glowing review, or a spitball of unflattering honesty. Here are some of the varying responses from my husband’s children.
The Sun Does Not Shine Out of My Arse; A Very Real Homeschool Day. So as not to accuse anyone of lying about their perfect days of joy filled learning, I will stick to what I know about how a typical homeschool day goes around here, and that literally means “never as planned.” Some days all my boys want to do is binge watch SpongeBob and gorge on peanut butter stuffed pretzels. And I’d like to hideout in my room and binge watch the back of my eyelids, but this stuff won’t learn itself!
Homeschool Moms: The Fat Girls at Prom. When you are a homeschool mom surrounded by “normal” moms, it’s basically the same situation. The difference is that you can keep your proverbial fatness hidden. Or, when the conversation turns to carpool lines and homeroom teachers, you can untie the girdle and tell them you homeschool. And get ready to enjoy the crescendo of crickets when your “fatness” settles over the group.
I Want to Homeschool, but I Don’t Want to Teach. When I get this homeschool thing all figured out, I want to be the kind of homeschool mom who can wedge herself in between Webster’s Dictionary and a selection of Usborne Encyclopedia’s and sit all pretty and reference like, sipping coffee and over seeing self propelled learners. I’d hop down from my shelf to run out and buy pre-sharpened Ticonderogas, arrange field trips, keep the WiFi running, and set out tea for the college recruiters. Anything’s possible….
Ten Things I Hate About Homeschooling. “9. Telemarketers, wrong numbers, right numbers at the wrong time, UPS, Fed-Ex., meter readers, mailmen, handymen, soliciters, door-to-door salesmen, Jahovah’s Witnesses or anyone with a pamphlet I didn’t ask to read, people who say they will be here sometime between 8am-5pm, do-gooders who kidnap my “obviously” lost dog from our street and call me to come get him across town, people I love dearly and anyone else that shows up when I’m minutes away from finishing an important lesson and make me envision stabbing them with my red grading pen.”
The Ten Commandments of a Homeschool Mom. I am fairly sure that breaking any of the following commandments will not lead you down any road to perdition, or highway to Hel-lo!…Calm down. This is just my list of suggestions to keep your sanity as a homeschool mom. However, choosing to ignore or break any of the following commandments could result in a 15lb weight gain, wrinkles, torn cuticles, a twitching eye, split ends, a missing husband, hemorrhoids, chin hairs, or worse…all loss of confidence and a return to the carpool line from whence you fled. You have been warned…
100 Homeschool Memes. Memes. They are quick. They inspire. They make a point. They get a laugh. They poke fun. But mostly they can cram an entire argument into one witty frame. Homeschoolers can hold their own when it comes to great memes. Here is a list of 100 great homeschool memes from some great bloggers and artists including yours truly!
In a Moment of Weakness We Joined a Co-op. I know. What was I thinking, right? It was a momentary weakness in my armor against any infiltration of our perfect homeschool. Apparently I am supposed to earn points for our family to be allowed to remain in good standing. Really the only thing that keeps me from actually screaming and running is my locked vault of introverted emotions. And I will teach Commas; A Billion And One Uses if asked. But I’m not working in the nursery…
Oh ya, We All Know “That” Homeschool Family. I know you have heard of these legendary weirdos. Their story has become infamous. Not to mention an albatross around many of our necks. I think there is a little of “that” family in all of us. So I have compiled a list of ways to know. You might be “that” homeschool family if…
There is going to be more where all this sarcasm came from this coming year! 2017 is sure to be filled with many reasons to rant, rave, and blog about Homeschooling. So be sure and sign-up for Hifalutin Homeschooler on the right to know when the latest greatest posts hit the net!
Want more top 10 posts now? Click the link to iHomeschool Network’s link-up of the best homeschool blogs and the best posts of 2016!