I have not perfected stone tablet etching. And, I am fairly sure that breaking any of the following commandments will not lead you down any road to perdition, or highway to Hel-lo!…Calm down. This is just my list of suggestions to keep your sanity as a homeschool mom.

However, choosing to ignore or break any of the following commandments could result in a 15lb weight gain, wrinkles, torn cuticles, a twitching eye, split ends, a missing husband, hemorrhoids, chin hairs, or worse…all loss of confidence and a return to the carpool line from whence you fled.


So take heed. You have been warned…


1. Thou shalt have no priority superior to educating your children for the next (insert yrs till children graduate +/- a few depending on your chosen calendar, unschooling vs. Doogie Howser, MD agenda, you get the idea).

2. Coffee is curriculum. Put no other beverage before it.

3. Thou shalt not speak evil of homeschooling on any level before the skeptical public.

4. Remember the reason you chose to homeschool and keep it in your heart, even when you want to light your curriculum on fire.

5. Honor your teeth and remember to brush them. Oh, and shave your legs, and perhaps put on a bra occasionally.

6. Thou shalt not kill your child’s love of learning with redundant busy work, or useless, excessive crafting.

7. Thou shalt not commit adultery. Obviously. Who has time for that? However, remember you have a husband somewhere under all those glue sticks and lesson plans.

8. Thou shalt not steal drinking straws from restaurants, or plant samples from neighbors, unless it is for a science lab.

9. Thou shalt not lie to yourself about what you intend to cook for dinner. Stock up on frozen dinners and take-out numbers.

10. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s free time. She’s probably bored with the gym and pedicures. Or tired of wearing designer pumps and carrying that briefcase. Anyway, nothing beats yoga pants and math drills. Except pajamas and Shel Silverstein, maybe?..

Did I miss anything?

Please share!
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